As it is for most women my age (and damn near every age, for that matter), breaking up is hard to do. It's especially trying when the reason behind the break-up is less than dramatic--he didn't cheat, lie, or pull a 'Chris Brown' on your ass. Sometimes relationships just don't work and neither party harbors any ill will toward the other. This particular circumstance is the perfect breading ground for a quandary I'd like to call the 'Old Thing Back' scenario-or OTB for short. The OTB usually occurs without warning and there's usually nothing you can do once you've fallen in the trap. Something as small as a simple 'hi' in a text message can snowball into an impromptu late night session of horizontal mambo. It's not too hard to figure out why back-tracking is so easy to do--it's familiar, you already know what to do and you don't have to worry about all the B.S that comes with meeting someone new. From my personal experience, I've come to realize that there are particular instances where the desire to want that OTB is much more apparent. For those of you fresh off a new break-up, you may want to avoid these situations at all cost:
1. Being home alone, DRUNK: Now there are several ways this can happen. You could have met up with a few co-workers for happy hour and end up having one too many swirl margaritas or you simply decided to get yourself a good bottle of Riesling and call it a Blockbuster night. Either way, once that alcohol kicks in and you’re sitting on the couch alone, you can pretty much kiss your strong will goodbye. The next thing you know, you're dialing those all too familiar digits and he's over your place before you finish that third glass of wine.
2. Going to the movies, WITH YOUR GIRLS: Think back to those days when you were dating or had a man. Where's the first place you usually end up after dinner? That's right, the movies. So when you and your BFF are at the theater for the 9:30pm showing of 'Transformers' you best believe that you'll be surrounded by couples of all ages- so much so that you start feeling like the only idiot NOT on a date. While you're sitting there trying to enjoy the movie, all you can really think about getting that OTB. It's a guaranteed disaster waiting to happen.
3. Going to the club: Even though your intentions to go out with your girls may be to take your mind off of “him,” going to the club usually ends up doing more harm than good. This is because, for the majority of the night, you’re continuously shooting down one brother after the next --the fool with in the wide legged jeans rocking the single gold hoop earring; the clown sporting the bedazzled D&G shades and We R One bandana; the fool in the skin tight Underarmour tank and pleated slacks. After being barraged by these questionable characters for a good part of the night, your ex doesn’t seem all that bad and before you know it, you’re BBMing him for an adult sleepover at your house.
Please keep in mind that there are some instances when getting that OTB is completely warranted. There’s that space in time between ending one relationship and starting a new one where things sometimes just happen (hey, we all got needs!). Everyone slips up now and again and unless you’re really ready for it to be O-V-E-R, the chances of falling back into the groove of things is increased ten-fold. At the end of the day, you gotta do you. If the getting that OTB is what you want to do, do it. Just make sure to keep my tips in mind when you’re finally ready to move on.
Please keep in mind that there are some instances when getting that OTB is completely warranted. There’s that space in time between ending one relationship and starting a new one where things sometimes just happen (hey, we all got needs!). Everyone slips up now and again and unless you’re really ready for it to be O-V-E-R, the chances of falling back into the groove of things is increased ten-fold. At the end of the day, you gotta do you. If the getting that OTB is what you want to do, do it. Just make sure to keep my tips in mind when you’re finally ready to move on.
