At 26 years old I've had my fair share of break ups, make ups, and everything in between. I've cheated, been cheated on and completely lost myself several times along the way. I'm now in this weird transitional period where I finally know what I want but can't seem to find anyone on the same page. I no longer wish to be bothered with someone who wants to casually date for a couple months then fade into the background when they feel like things might be getting a little 'too serious.' Nor am I interested in having a 'friend with benefits.' I have enough friends and the supposed 'benefit' isn't worth the headache. I also value myself enough to want and expect more than just sex from a man. So here I am, in my prime, ready to finally be an adult and do things the 'right way' and yet, meeting a man who even remotely knows what he's doing with his life is like finding a black person still living on U Street. That's not to say I haven't come across some good guys. It's just that most of them are either too intimidated by who they 'think' I am or are so busy proving themselves that I never get to see who they really are. Then there are the ones that don't feel like they have to put in any work and expect me to just hand 'it' over on a silver platter. I'm not saying that I'm the easiest person to get to know. I'm extremely picky, sarcastic probably to a fault and have an impossibly low threshold for bullsh*t. But, I'm a genuinely good person. I have a great sense of humor, I'm not needy or jealous, and I'm not in a rush to get married any time soon. All I want is to find someone who doesn't play games, keeps it 100 at all times, and enjoys my company (being tall, dark, and handsome surely doesn't hurt either!). I know there are some good men out there and I haven't completely lost hope just yet, but the dating scene is whack and I'm tired of kissing all these frogs. I'm ready for my Prince.
6 comments:
Snaps, snaps, snaps! i soooo feel u on this post!
I'm completely with you. DC is such a hard place to find someone with that mentality because it's a "transitional" city that's full of good eye candy, but nothing of pure substance. I say, look in other states, that seems to be where the good ones that think this way are, not here. Done and DONE ;-) SICK-O-FROGS, hahahaha, love it girl. AMEN!
So let me ask u ladies this then. Im always hearing about women sayign they can't "find" the right men but a lot of them arent changing themselves or really putting in work at all. "Find" is a verb. Do u wait for guys to approach or do u go for waht interests u? The quality dudes are not the ones begging to buy u a drink or running up asking for your #s I dont care how fine you are.
I agree. I'm not going to meet my soulmate in the club. To be honest, that's probably half my problem. I think the best relationships come from being introduced to someone through a mutual friend. Meeting someone in a social setting such as a club almost guarantees that you will meet their "representative" and not the person they really are.
And believe me, i know how to put in 'work.' I just think unrealistic when after two dates a man is already expecting you to cook them dinner and cater to their every need. There's a fine line between 'putting in work' and coming off desperate and needy. You give a man too much, too soon and you'll end up alone and miserable 3 months later.
Im probably the outsider in this set but i cant help but weigh in. I was just having this convo w/my neighbor last nite. i think that going to clubs is pretty worthless too. Happy hour settings are somewhat more effective. But the fact is that whether you are introduced to a person via a mutual friend, or meet someone at the grocery store or at a club or walking down the street, the fact remains that you are going to meet that persons representative. and thats not necessarily a bad thing. i think its only natural to want to want to put your best foot forward. i think its just a matter of discering how genuine a person is. is their rep a generally accurate dipiction of who they are, or is it total smoke & mirrors... additionally T, youre a natural PYT, but perhaps youre in the minority. since we're using chris rock references i.e. "meeting representatives", consider yourself lucky. as men, we not only have to discern personality representatives, but we also have to sift through physical representatives. shes wearing makeup (her skin at that clear), shes got on a spanx (she aint that thin), shes wearing a wonderbra (gravity & her dna dont allow her breasts dont sit up like that on their own) lol. and thats just the beginning! i digress. all in all clubs arent a great place to meet people, but i believe in keeping an open mind everywhere bc one never knows. besides, i'd rather tell people i met my wife at a club than at speed dating! lol.
Wow! I totally agree with Cabral. That's a great point to go along with your post. At the end of the day, I think it just gets to the point for everyone that you get tired of wasting your time on bullsh*t. And a lot of times we're prejudice because of of the past situations we've been in. You never know where you'll find your prince. It could be at work, walking your cat, getting it in at Jin, the civil rights museum, or an open bar. You just need to keep staying open.
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